Sympathy or Empathy
“Jesus wept.”
John 11:35 NIV
“Mourn with those who mourn”
Romans 12:15 NIV
When I’ve attended funeral services and mourned with those weeping over the loss of a loved one, they would sometimes apologize for crying in my presence. I would normally say something like, “They’re worth crying over.” Or “Tears are good at a time like this.”
When we’re in our own times of sorrow and remember that Jesus also wept when ”He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:33 NIV), we can also be comforted. It was over the death of His friend Lazarus that He wept. Lazarus and his sisters were especially loved by Jesus, and by weeping with them He indicates what all of us should do in these situations.
Not only are we told to mourn with those who mourn, we’re also told that “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and not all members have the same function, so in Christ we who are many are one body, and each member belongs to one another.“ (Romans 12: 4-5 NIV)
These statements summon us to feel deep empathy for others in pain, rather than giving hurried condolences that do little to relieve suffering. We’re to mourn right along with them. We’re to mourn as if we were in their place. We’re to feel the sorrow they’re feeling.
When we mourn with others, it gives them a degree of comfort and encouragement. They see that we also, in our own way, loved the deceased. We can be sympathetic and show that we understand their pain, or we can be empathetic and mourn with them, by feeling their pain.
Have you held back the tears when in the presence of death? Do you see crying as a sign of weakness? Think again and understand that the Lord of glory wept with those who were weeping. He shouldered some of the burden and lightened the load of people in pain.
The next time you find yourself in the presence of people who mourn, let your tears mingle with theirs and take some of their burden onto your shoulders.
“This weeping of Christ is deeply instructive. It shows us that it is not sinful to sorrow. Weeping and mourning are sadly trying to flesh and blood, and make us feel the weakness of our mortal nature. But they are not in themselves wrong. Even the Son of God wept. It shows us that deep feeling is not a thing of which we need be ashamed. To be cold and stoical and unmoved in the sight of sorrow is no sign of grace. There is nothing unworthy of a child of God in tears.“ J.C. Ryle