Years ago I had a reminder about when to speak and when to listen. I had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and happened upon a friend while shopping.
She'd heard about the cancer and asked how I was doing. I hadn't figured out yet how to answer that question so I blurted out, “Well, apart from the fact I have cancer, I'm doing fine.”
It was a foolish comment I instantly regretted. Too late. She started crying. I did an about-face and, after a awkward conversation, I left—somewhat the wiser.
Those of us in a difficult situation are “between a rock and a hard place”. We want to be honest about our situation, but we don't want to upset anyone with the painful details.
So what to do? Tell the hard truth or say that you're fine and leave it at that?
When Jesus was tormented in Gethsemane, He said nothing until alone with Peter, James and John. He told them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” (Mark 14:34). Then, right before His time on the cross was finished, He said “I thirst”.
When we're suffering, honestly sharing our problems with family or friends can bring relief. Keeping everything "bottled up" can be very stressful, causing even more health issues.
When Jesus was silent on that horrific night, it most likely increased His sorrows. He knew how frightened and confused His disciples were, so He chose not to make it harder on them.
“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth.” Isaiah 53:7 (NIV)
Do you have one or two mature friends (or family) whom you can confide in and trust not to repeat what you tell them? When you're confused and wondering if God still cares about you, by telling someone else how you feel, the burden becomes lighter.
You're not alone in your feelings. Scripture records a variety of God’s people confessing doubts about their faith or the faithfulness of God.
We're allowed to come before our Creator and tell Him we're sad and want a better situation for ourselves. He listens, even while He's preparing that better place for those who love Him.
It's okay to talk to others about your challenges in life, but be sure that the most important person you talk to is the God who made you. He knows more than you can imagine about suffering and pain.
He will listen if you speak.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15 NIV)
